Some Christian recovery groups, therapists, friends and advice-giving strangers (like the ones we find on social media) are known for forcing the act of forgiveness on others- especially victims. And Lord help the poor soul who happens to (gasp) vent any anger over a wrong that has been committed.
Summed up, some (well meaning?) Christians want you to suck it up and if you suffer, do so in silence. Your personal healing is basically nothing compared to their holiness agenda.
I am willing to bet that many of these people have never suffered actual abuse, serious betrayal or traumatic loss. (Or they are in denial.) Their solutions are just too simple, too canned, to convey an understanding of righteous anger or the healing process.
To top it off, their theory doesn’t make any sense. You don’t run into a hospital bed where someone lost the use of their legs and tell them, “Hey, just forgive the drunk driver that hit you, stop being angry, and get in your wheelchair already!” That’s absurd. But doing the equivalent to a survivor of emotional trauma is somehow okay?
I’m not saying forgiveness is useless or anger should last forever. However, we should respect the fact that anger is a real emotion and experiencing it over an injustice is more reflective of God’s character than we may think. (For Scripture verses on injustice and righteous anger visit https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Injustice,-Hated-By-God.)
God cares deeply for those who are mistreated, broken and abused. (Read Isaiah 61.) And, He does more than care. He heals. He restores. He helps turn pain into a purpose. He helps us forgive.
To be sure, this is a process (sometimes a lengthy one) that can involve feeling anger and healing from anger. "Allowing the process to occur does not mean the person is living in sin." (https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-anger.html)
If you are healing from an emotional trauma, you may want to enlist the help of a qualified professional. Therapists are trained to help people process trauma and work through anger.
May you find healing and peace in your heart- M
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The Motley Ms.
Hi! My name is Melinda. I'm a saved-by-grace-er, lifelong learner, INFJ, health & fitness trynabe, Mom, #vanlifer, mental health vlogger, and Director & Clinical Supervisor at a Child & Family Therapy Practice in Northern California.
The Motley Ms
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