The Nauseating Path to Successful Healing

And it’s back.  Just when I was beginning to think I might have to get used to numbness, my roller coaster reappeared and I am back in the despair / anger loop-de-loop. Did I say that pain and anger were better than numbness?  They all suck.  This whole darn “recovery” “journey” sucks.

Intellectually, I know I can’t stay in one phase forever.  I even know that I won’t stay in this grief / healing / recovery process forever.  But it feels like I will.  I even understand that healing or recovery or adjustment does not happen in a straight line.  I know it’s a tangled mess.  But, ugh, the day in and day out process is just… (exasperated, pathetic sigh).

This is where all of that reading and increased knowledge have to kick in.  I have to speak to my heart.  I have to tell that little broken mess, “This is normal.  This is a part of the process.  It feels crazy.  It feels out of control.  You won’t be here forever.  Your emotions won’t overwhelm you forever.  You will feel peace and joy again.”

And then try to believe that.


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