There are times when I’m embarrassed by all of the crap I’ve been through, as if I did something to deserve a markedly unstable and profoundly painful life. Or, as if I don’t try at all and my results are a simply consequences of reckless living.
Reckless- ha! Sometimes I wish I could be so un-vigilant as to be reckless… to just check out. Run away. Get drunk -- well, anything to escape the pain of loss, betrayal and repeated failure.
But, alas, I am far too responsible and much too self-aware to divulge in such daredevil antics. (And the cleanup would just be a mess!) Also, my free-floating guilt drives me to be uber-conscientious of well, everything.
Thankfully, I can say that through all of the trails and heartbreak (and despite my quasi-neurotic need to be “good,”) I’ve always grown stronger. Kicking and screaming, I’ve grown stronger- in my faith, my perseverance, my hope, my love. Even though I think I might die first.
Life is messy. And then there’s grace. And I’m learning more about it every day. (Check out Romans 5:3-5.)
The Motley Ms.
Hi! My name is Melinda. I'm a saved-by-grace-er, lifelong learner, INFJ, health & fitness trynabe, Mom, #vanlifer, mental health vlogger, and Director & Clinical Supervisor at a Child & Family Therapy Practice in Northern California.
The Motley Ms
The Therapist's Therapy Blog