What if this isn't the end of the world?
What if I am in the process of moving even closer to who I am meant to be?
What if things really do work out for the good?
What if there is a beautiful lesson here?
What if fiery trials actually refine souls?
What if I can and will get over this?
What if this is actually making me stronger?
What if my brain is lying to me when it says, "You can't survive this"?
What if there is a bigger picture and things I just don't know yet?
What if there really is beauty for ashes?
What if I believe that God is Who He says He is?
What if it really does take longer for the heart to understand what the head already knows?
What if I'm going to look back on this in 5 years and laugh?
What if this is actually saving me from something far worse?
What if I will help someone one day because I have walked this road?
Give yourself permission to consider the "what ifs," my friends. What if hope is waiting in the midst? Be healed. Be loved. You are loved, Beloved.
photo credit: pixabay
Healing is a funny thing. Not funny ha-ha, but funny weird. You ride the roller coaster from hell, sit with your feelings, practice your healthy coping skills and work on creating your "cohesive narrative," whatever that is.
Then, one day it happens.
The beautiful, magnificient "ah!" Moment that appears as a thought or an insight... a lesson learned... a spark of joy amidst the sadness. A ray of hope for the future. This is typically what might be referred to as the Acceptance phase of the grieving process.
Granted, it's not a warm fuzzy "Gee, I'm glad that horrible thing happened in my life becuase now I'm ________ (stronger / have better boundaries/ more equipped to help others...)" feeling.
No. It's more like, "Gee, that horrible thing happened in my life and it almost took me out. I have scars to prove it. [Yes, the emotional ones count- maybe more so.] But in surviving ____________ (here's where you put in your terrible life event), I discovered that ______________ (here's where you get to celebrate your victory/ lesson / newfound strength/ etc.)!"
It's a "beauty for ashes" thing. That sounds really nice in a blog, or on a card, or as a meme, but the reality of "beauty for ashes" involves an inferno- a hell of some sort- that we survied in order to receive the beauty.
That part isn't so much fun. I get it. (sigh)
Yes, life is filled with heartache and trails. But, it is also filled with healing, hope and joy. Sometimes we have to sift through the charred debris to that happy stuff... to find meaning in our suffering... to give purpose to our pain.
But finding the treasure is worth it.
By now, you know I am a bit of a snail when it comes to healing. I'm not sure if it's an INFJ thing or an HSP thing. Wait, is "INFJ" really that different from "HSP"? Probably not.
Anyway, I do take my time in grieving. I won't say it's "a long time" because everyone grieves and heals at their own pace. It's a unique- dare I say lonely?- process. And, my time is my time.
But, when I'm done, I'm done.
How about you? Have you discovered the hidden gems of pain and sorrow? Have you found a renewed ability to persevere? A tenderness or insight for helping the broken?
I hope you have. If you have not, remember: you have not yet. Keep searching. Keep healing. Those gems are there.
We are in this human thing together, my friends! Much love.
Photo credit: http://www.powerpackedpromises.com
There are times in life - seasons, if you will- where we must step back from people we have embraced in the past. People who make decisions that hurt us or have the potential to hurt us.
Abuse. Drugs. Alcohol. Betrayal. Denial. Justification. Rationalization. Voluntary blindness to suffering caused.
Yes, even if those people happen to be children, parents, a spouse, family or friends- the very people we have been taught to embrace at all times, regardless of their behavior. 'Love the sinner; hate the sin' and all of that nonsense.
The truth is, embracing a person or concept or behavior that is harmful only serves to condone evil. And where evil is condoned, it grows.
And all of our sacrificial embracing won't chase it away.
To be sure, that person, concept, or behavior has already stopped embracing us. They are (or it is) holding on to something (or someone) else: an addiction, sin, habit and/or "side partner" that puts us second or third or tenth on the list of "important things in life" from their perspective.
To continue embracing would be like trying to catch the wind. And tripping. And falling.
To continue embracing also means we are robbing them of a chance to learn and grow. They may actually need the sting of consequence for their ultimate good.
Yes, even more than they need an embrace.
Hold, accept, and support wisely my friends. And above all else, guard your heart, -M
There is a season for everything under the sun... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. Ecc. 3
Photo credit: This is poor journalism, but I don't remember where I found this beautiful artwork. The artist may not want to embrace the fact that I used it without proper credit, so if you find the source / link, please let me know!
The Motley Ms.
Hi! My name is Melinda (or Mel, if you like). I'm a saved-by-grace-er, lifelong learner, INFJ, health & fitness trynabe, Mom, mental health vlogger (hey! go subscribe!!) and Child & Family Therapist - not necessarily in that order (well, except the first one). If you want to see my business-y side, check out my super-professional business website.
The Motley Ms
The Therapist's Therapy Blog