What if this isn't the end of the world?
What if I am in the process of moving even closer to who I am meant to be?
What if things really do work out for the good?
What if there is a beautiful lesson here?
What if fiery trials actually refine souls?
What if I can and will get over this?
What if this is actually making me stronger?
What if my brain is lying to me when it says, "You can't survive this"?
What if there is a bigger picture and things I just don't know yet?
What if there really is beauty for ashes?
What if I believe that God is Who He says He is?
What if it really does take longer for the heart to understand what the head already knows?
What if I'm going to look back on this in 5 years and laugh?
What if this is actually saving me from something far worse?
What if I will help someone one day because I have walked this road?

Give yourself permission to consider the "what ifs," my friends. What if hope is waiting in the midst? Be healed.  Be loved.  You are loved, Beloved.

photo credit: pixabay

You’ve had some Aha! moments, you realize there are some problems with the way you have interacted with others in the past.  You no longer accept emotional manipulation or bullying as normal.  You’ve stepped back emotionally to evaluate.  You’ve implemented new patterns of thought and behavior into your situation or relationship. 

Wow! You are a badass!!

​But something still feels “off.”

What gives?
There’s this awkward process when you realize that co-dependency no longer works for you.  You’ve gained insight and grown emotionally but those around you haven’t.  This means that you are left with a disconnect you didn’t have before.

Before, while still in your co-dependency, you clicked, you connected with your significant other or counterparts because your dysfunction matched theirs.  Where they were needy, you were willing to fill the holes.   You knew how to respond to the emotional distancing, the criticism, the blame shifting- and when you did; when you were able to successfully fit the bill- you felt connected. 

Either that, or you would withdraw until the other came to collect you.

With the maladaptive connection gone, you no longer have “that spark” of connection.  

So What Now?
There's a grieving, a healing process to go through.  When we come out of co-dependency, we have to let go of old relationships, the old self, and find something new, different and healthy.  And that takes work.  And some grieving.  And some healing.  

The only way out is through, my friends.  Roll up your sleeves and get to work,- M

​The video version (vlog) of this blog entry is at https://youtu.be/aSBOp2-OuQ0  And I think you might notice I'm getting less awkward on-screen.  Or I'm trying anyway.

​Photo credit: pixabay