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8 Reasons Why No-Showing to Your Therapy Appointment is a Bad Idea

7/3/2016

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Feeling like skipping out on your session? Here are eight reasons why you may want to reconsider...
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  1. Healing occurs in relationship.  Your relationship with your therapist is an actual relationship.    Committing to the process is a big part of your recovery, healing, transformation and personal growth.  Some sessions will be more productive than others, some will be more painful than others- it’s all part of the process.  Bailing out on sessions means you are missing out.
  2. It’s just rude.  You don’t flake on your friend or spouse, do you?   (If you do, you really need be in that session!) Nevertheless, please don’t flake on your therapist – or especially on yourself!
  3. Skipping sessions gives your therapist cause to think you are resistant.   A client facing resistance is one who, for a variety of reasons, is stalling (consciously or not) the healing process.  Therapists who work with resistant clients have to pull out all sorts of tricks to get them unstuck.  If you thought therapy was boring, difficult or otherwise ‘no-show’ worthy before, just wait.  Your therapist might be smarter than you think.
  4. You might be charged anyway.  Many therapists have no-show policies involving full or partial fees.  The best way to get the most for your money is to get the most of your time with your trained professional.
  5. Your therapist might fire you.  Yep.  Some therapists have adopted an “I will not work harder than you” philosophy, and will terminate the therapist-client relationship with any client who is not committed to their own personal success. (According to professional code of ethics, the therapist has guidelines on the termination process, so it should not be without warning.)
  6. You may have prevented someone else from getting help. No, this is not a guilty trip, just another perspective.  Your therapist may have had to turn someone down who wanted your time slot because it was already occupied by you.  If you are seriously not committed to the healing process, give your spot up so someone else who is ready and willing can have it.
  7. Your therapist probably has a family to support, or at least some bills to pay.  Therapists, like all other humans, have responsibilities, a need for some income, and only so many hours in a day to earn a living.  A therapist who schedules (blocks out, commits to) a time for one particular person who frequently cancels or no-shows means the therapist is losing income.  Your therapist will probably not be able to fill your spot at the last minute and will lose money from the vacant hour.
  8. Your therapist is a person. He or she may have switched his or her schedule and/or missed out on other events or activities in her or her own life to accommodate you.  Most therapists do not sit in an office all day, gleefully waiting for anyone who happens to show up.  They have kids, laundry, chores… they go to the gym and dentist appointments… they visit sick family and friends…   Filling a 50 minute (therapy hour) no-show slot with any of these activities is difficult, if not impossible considering traveling time, etc.  (The only thing a therapist might be able to accomplish in this time is some clinical documentation… or a blog post.)

Moral of the story?  Don’t miss your sessions!  Sessions are good for you, your therapist and the environment.  If you need to cancel, give your therapist advance notice- most require 24-48 hours.

Watch Why Therapy Works.

Therapy-session photo credit: https://www.allaboutrecoveryinc.com

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    The Motley Ms.

    Hi! My name is Melinda. I'm a saved-by-grace-er, lifelong learner, INFJ, health & fitness trynabe, Mom, #vanlifer, mental health vlogger, and Director & Clinical Supervisor at a Child & Family Therapy Practice in Northern California.

    Legal notices:  CA LMFT 102308, OK LMFT 1153, NC LMFT 2143.

    You probably already realize that none of these posts should be considered therapy. Really, these are just my random thoughts. If you need help working through a difficult life situation or mental health issue, please contact a professional in your area.

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